Can I change the addict?

Change! Well, I am learning that I definitely cannot change the addicts. I cannot make my addicted loved ones do anything they do not want to do. I cannot make them stop their obsessions with drugs, food, smoking, gambling, sex, golf, or computers. Their obsessive/compulsive behavior continues and will until they desire to change and seek the help they need. Every now and then, I still take their inventory and talk to them about their behavior. That does nothing to improve our relationships; instead, it causes more resentment and creates more distance between us. I need to remember they will work their own programs with their own sponsors when they are ready.

The only thing I can do today is look at my behavior. Am I obsessed with cleaning my house, working long hours, and taking on more than I should to fill my time so I do not have to feel or see the addicts’ behavior? Am I avoiding my own shortcomings? I know that I have a choice today to change what I can. I also know I can only change me. I can do this by working the Twelve Steps with my sponsor, going to meetings, being of service in Nar-Anon and taking care of me. I have to stay on my side of the street to be healthy. Thought for Today: Today I will only work on changing my attitudes and myself. I cannot change the addict, only my reactions to the things the addict and others do. Today I choose to have peace and serenity in my life.

“The sages do not consider that making no mistakes is a blessing. They believe, rather, that the great virtue of man lies in his ability to correct his mistakes and continually to make a new man of himself.” ~ Wang Yang-Ming

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